Benj and I made some sugar cookies today...

No big deal.......
They were just better sugar cookies than anyone else has ever made.

I love books. One day I dreamed to have a perfect bookshelf filled with all of the old, beautiful books it could hold. Another day, I drew a silly picture of how it would look. This is that picture. I labeled almost every book on the shelf. I apologize for the bad quality of the picture.... You'll just have to trust me on this one. And yes, that is me leaning against it, reading a book....

I have already accumulated quite a collection of some of the most charming, wonderful books that have ever graced this world.

These are my books.

Mine.

I just have to list them all off.... This is one subject that I feel I can boast of with no regret.

The Three Musketeers,

The Lewis Caroll Book,

Pride and Prejudice,

The Worlds' 1000 best Poems,

Robert Louis Stevenson,

Children's Stories,

Classical Composers M-Z,

Goldsmith's Poems,

Pilgrim's Progress,

Idylls of the King,

Merchant of Venice and Romeo and Juliet,

Plays of Moliere,

Jane Eyre,

Sherlock Holmes,

Children's Folk Tales,

The Illiad,

Heidi,

Kidnapped and Treasure Island,

Edgar Allan Poe,

Jane Austen,

Music Dictionary,

Notre-Dame de Paris (Hunchback of Notre Dame)

and Shakespeare (all of them).

If there is a better collection anywhere I want to see it.......

Oh how I love books!

I love this.

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.”

Benjamin found these today.
I forced him to save them to the computer....

I know Easter is a few weeks away but I thought we could all have a heads up.
Can you imagine an Easter this awesome?!
Make one for yourself.
It's this easy.....
heh.
Well, at least you can try... That is what I will be doing. Can't do any better than that, right?

"Lightbulbs die, my sweet. I will depart...."

Sometimes I get depressed....

...and I hate myself. I feel so picked on sometimes and for no good reason. I have it pretty good. I'm just lazy and dumb and immature I guess. That is the conclusion I have come to anyway.

This guy always helps me out of it though. I will be forever grateful to him.... AND in love with him, but that's besides the point....

There was another factor at play in my recovery from this idiotic depression I was in. I may have recently spent all of my money on a ticket to France for this summer. I have $77 to my name. At this point I may as well be homeless. Thank heavens for parents who stand for mooching children, right? But really though... I didn't realize how much I missed it until I bought that ticket. I miss France! And all of my buddies over there! It is pretty heartbreaking really. It is always going to be either one or the other. Here or there. Boy, oh boy, why did I ever go?.... I'm just kidding, of course, but life is never the same afterwards. I'll just have to become rich, I guess.... I am so excited to go though. Dane and I will both be going. We will spend three glorious weeks over there. Too short really.... but I am looking forward to them all the same :). I don't know who has seen this movie, but I love it. Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. It's colorful and crazy and weird, but it's one of my feel good movies. My greatest wish is to be as cute as Molly Mahoney. My life right now kind of reminds me of hers a little bit. I hope mine ends up as great. Anyway, this is me encouraging you to watch it and to please love it.

What else is on my mind? These cookies. Peanut Butter Cookies from smittenkitchen.com. They are woven into my every thought. They are so delicious it makes me want to cry. There isn't a more perfect cookie. Please believe me. Please make these. I have been waiting for the perfect opportunity. I'm thinking that will be tomorrow. I don't think I can wait much longer. Make them and then we will be like twins, sighing and crying together. You want to do this... trust me. Chocolate and Peanut Butter. Has there ever been a better combination in the whole history of this world? That's a no.

Speaking of wasting time on trivial things, I found this bag and I want to make one like it. It's cute, right? Of course we know it won't end up looking a thing like it, but it would be fun to try anyway.....

Heh. Biggest waste of a blog post I've ever seen. I did this only for you Dallin. You are my one and only fan and I love you. Also, sometimes I like to talk to myself....

"Take this kiss upon the brow!

And, in parting from you now,

Thus much let me avow-

You are not wrong, who deem

That my days have been a dream;

Yet if hope has flown away

In a night, or in a day,

In a vision, or in none,

Is it therefore the less gone?

All that we see or seem

Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar

Of a surf-tormented shore,

And I hold within my hand

Grains of the golden sand-

How few! yet how they creep

Through my fingers to the deep,

While I weep- while I weep!

O God! can I not grasp

Them with a tighter clasp?

O God! can I not save

One from the pitiless wave?

Is all that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream?"

- A Dream Within a Dream by Edgar Allan Poe

"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get..."

Dane is home.

Now that he's home, I don't know what I ever did when he was gone. I sure missed him.



Look how wonderful he is!!! Mom and I were hyperventilating while waiting for him. I joked about passing out, but for a little while there I actually believed I would. Oh boy.... that was the best moment of my life.


There were many tears shed :).....

Mom just had to kiss him on both cheeks. There was no other option....

Leatherbees for lunch. Mmmm......






Well, it's been so great since he's been back. Poor boy is bored to death all the time and he is always disappointed by the end of the day. He feels like he has done nothing... which is true when you compare it to a mission. We have been trying to keep him busy. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't :).

We made chocolates just recently. Well, I can't really take any of the credit. I shaped the centers. That was as far as my generosity went. But I have to say they are all delicious, and no matter how sick they make me, I keep eating them. I will list the flavors for you. This post will be entirely unproductive if there isn't one mouth that waters. Don't disappoint me.
Here we go. Maple Pecan, Orange, Lemon/Lime, Peanut Butter, Mint, Almond Joy, Cherry, AND Chocolate covered Cinnamon Bears :). Mmmm.... I feel sick pretty much constantly, but they are so good. I would like to see anyone else do better. There are so many of them too....


Well, I need to go watch a certain Princess and the Frog with me mum and dream about Beignets....

"The powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse...."

Yesterday, Risa passed away. She has had cancer for about a year. I was never really close to her, but she made a big impact on my life. She is the most beautiful person I know. I have never met anyone more innocent and good than she was and that is not an exaggeration. She always seemed just like an angel to me. She was one of the most Christlike people I have ever met. Isn't that how life goes? As sad as this is for everyone who knows her, it seems so right. Heaven is exactly where Risa belongs. My heart breaks for her family and all those who loved her. I don't pretend to add myself to the list of those closest to her, because I wasn't. I just wanted to recognize her and her good example to me and everyone else. I love Risa. I am grateful for the life she had and for all that she has done for those around her. I am so grateful that I was able to know her, even just for a little bit.

Right after I learned Risa had cancer, I was pretty upset because my friend Grant had passed away a few months before. I wondered why all of this had to happen. All the people who knew and loved them both. It seemed pretty cruel to me. In my scriptures that night I read, "And blessed are all the pure in heart, for they shall see God." I immediately thought of Risa, and I felt peace right away. I am sure that she was good enough to be taken home a long time ago, but there were people she needed to help first. I am grateful I was one of those who knew her. I am grateful I knew Grant. I am grateful for the Whitakers, for being the kind of family that a girl like Risa could come to. I am grateful for the Knightons, for being the kind of family that a boy like Grant could come to. I am grateful for Erik and the sweet, wonderful boy that he is, even after everything he has been through. I am so grateful for all of the strong, good people around me, helping me all the time. If I had my choice, I would be up in heaven with all of the people I love, but I know I'm not good enough yet. I know I have a whole bunch to learn still. That is why there are people like Risa and Grant (Not that I know any. They were one of a kind...) that come into our lives. Thank heaven for them.

Risa and Erik.

Erik is Grant's brother. I love him. He is one of my best friends.

I think this is one of the most beautiful stories ever. Please read it....

A Child's Dream of a Star

Charles Dickens

THERE was once a child, and he strolled about a good deal, and thought a number of things. He had a sister, who was a child too, and his constant companion. These two used to wonder all day long. They wondered at the beauty of the flowers; they wondered at the height and blueness of the sky; they wondered at the depth of the bright water; they wondered at the goodness and the power of GOD who made a lovely world.

They used to say to one another, sometimes, Supposing all the children upon earth were to die, would the flowers and the water, and the sky be sorry? They believed they would be sorry. For, said they, the buds are the children of the flowers, and the little playful streams that gambol down the hill-sides are the children of the water; and the smallest bright specks playing at hide and seek in the sky all night, must surely be the children of the stars; and they would all be grieved to see their playmates, the children of men, no more.

There was one clear shining star that used to come out in the sky before the rest, near the church spire, above the graves. It was larger and more beautiful, they thought, than all the others, and every night they watched for it, standing hand in hand at the window. Whoever saw it first cried out, “I see the star!” And often they cried out both together knowing so well when it would rise, and where. So they grew to be such friends with it, that, before lying down in their beds, they always looked out once again, to bid it good night; and when they were turning round to sleep, they used to say, “God bless the star!”

But while she was still very young, oh, very, very young, the sister drooped, and came to be so weak that she could no longer stand in the window at night; and then the child looked sadly out by himself, and when he saw the star, turned round and said to the patient pale face on the bed, “I see the star!’ and then a smile would come upon the face, and a little weak voice used to say, “God bless my brother and the star!”

And so the time came all too soon! When the child looked out alone, and when there was no face on the bed; and when there was a little grave among the graves not there before; and when the star made long rays down towards him, and he saw it through his tears.

Now, these rays were so bright, and they seemed to make such a shining way from earth to Heaven, that when the child went to his solitary bed, he dreamed about the star; and dreamed that, lying where he was, he saw a train of people taken up that sparkling road by angels. And the star, opening, showed him a great world of light, where many more such angels waited to receive them.

All these angels, who were waiting, turned their beaming eyes upon the people who were carried up into the star; and some came out from the long rows in which they stood, and fell upon the people’s necks, and kissed them tenderly, and went away with them down avenues of light, and were so happy in their company, that lying in his bed he wept for joy.

But, there were many angles who did not go with them, and among them one he knew. The patient face that once had lain upon the bed was glorified and radiant, but his heart found out his sister among all the host.

His sister’s angel lingered near the entrance of the star, and said to the leader among those who had brought the people thither:

“Is my brother come?”

And he said “No.”

She was turning hopefully away, when the child stretched out his arms, and cried, “O, sister, I am here! Take me!” and then she turned her beaming eyes upon him, and it was night; and the star was shining into the room, making long rays down towards him as he saw it through his hears.

From that hour forth, the child looked out upon the star as on the home he was to go to, when his time should come; and he thought that he did not belong to the earth alone, but to the star too, because of his sister’s angel gone before.

There was a baby born to be a brother to the child; and while he was so little that he never yet had spoken word, he stretched forth his tiny form out on the bed, and died.

Again the child dreamed of the open star, and of the company of angels, and the train of people, and the rows of angels with their beaming eyes all turned upon those people’s faces.

Said his sister’s angel to the leader:

“Is my brother come?”

And he said “Not that one, but another.”

As the child beheld his brother’s angel in her arms, he cried, “O, sister, I am here! Take me!” And she turned and smiled upon him, and the star was shining.

He grew to be a young man, and was busy at his books when an old servant came to him and said:

“Thy mother is no more. I bring her blessing on her darling son!”

Again at night he saw the star, and all that former company. Said his sister’s angel to the leader:

“Is my brother come?”

And he said, “Thy mother!”

A mighty cry of joy went forth through all the star, because the mother was re-united to her two children. And he stretched out his arms and cried, “O, mother, sister, and brother, I am here! Take me!” And they answered him, “Not yet,” and the star was shining.

He grew to be a man, whose hair was turning grey, and he was sitting in his chair by the fireside, heavy with grief, and with his face bedewed with tears, when the star opened once again.

Said his sister’s angel to the leader:

“Is my brother come?”

And he said, “Nay, but his maiden daughter.”

And the man who had been the child saw his daughter, newly lost to him, a celestial creature among those three, and he said, “My daughter’s head is on my sister’s bosom, and her arm is around my mother’s neck, and at he feet there is the baby of old time, and I can bear the parting from her, GOD be praised!”

And the star was shining.

Thus the child came to be an old man, and his once smooth face was wrinkled, and he steps were slow and feeble, and his back was bent. And once night as he lay upon his bed, his children standing round, he cried, as he had cried so long ago:

“I see the star!”

They whispered one another, “He is dying.”

And he said, “I am.” My age is falling from me like a garment, and I move towards the star as a child. And O, my Father, now I thank thee that it has so often opened, to receive those dear ones who await me!” And the star was shining; and It shines upon his grave.

-A Child's Dream Of A Star by Charles Dickens